At times I find myself looking forward to a time in the future. A time when something is going to be different. A change I’m not even sure exists. Searching for the moment when my life is supposed to begin.
It’s funny but I think we all feel this way some time in our lives. Telling ourselves it’s okay now, but soon, soon things will be different and we’ll be happy. Happiness is always coming, like tomorrow. Always coming but will it ever get here?
What do we have to look forward to? What is it that’s always weighing on our minds and we can not explain it? Death? Are we waiting for death to come knocking on our door? It’s right around the corner, isn’t it? Death. The one thing that everyone eventually gets and nobody wants. If it’s not death, maybe it’s sadness. Sadness creeping in because you haven’t achieved the things in your life you’ve been meaning to.
I found myself slacking on my writing. I’ve spent more time reading and taking notes more than I have actually been writing. I keep telling myself I’ll continue to write daily and then I’d slack off a bit and pursue other things for entertainment, like reading. I’d go to write and end up looking for something good to read instead. I’ve taken a lot of notes and plan to organize them into a post or two, soon. Some day in the future. Looking forward to it actually.
I keep looking forward to finishing my book and presenting it to the world. I keep looking forward to the moment of completion, the moment my world is going to change. I’m looking forward to a different life. One where I’m doing exactly what I want to do. The life I choose to live where I’m the one pulling all the strings. Is that really possible? To live a life where no one else is your puppet master? Where you live only in the moment because you’ve accomplished everything you set out to do. I’m looking forward to the answer to that one question.
You really can’t live in the moment when you’re constantly looking forward to something in the future. Maybe you’re too excited and can’t wait, even though you have to wait because nothing great happens overnight. Living in the moment is the only thing that makes you feel the most alive. It’s difficult to dream about a different life and live in the moment sometimes. Because you can’t enjoy what you have until you’ve lived with it, been with it. Look forward to living now and your moment will come short enough.
I said before that being present, living in the moment, is a present in which you can open every moment of your life. Imagine the possibilities of happiness just living every moment as if it was your last. Because every moment is your last, it becomes the past. Doing what makes you happy because it makes you happy. Not worrying about tomorrow or the past. Living now, look forward to NOW.